NVC List of Needs for a Buddhist

The central tool for practicing Nonviolent Communications (NVC) is a “list of needs” — basic human needs.  The list I’ve used the most is Bay NVC’s.  However, NVC trainers often encourage you to develop your own list.  So this is a start at mine.  The biggest difference between it and Bay NVC’s is that it incorporates some Buddhist concepts, e.g., “non-attachment” (which is not disconnection, but rather the opposite of being “hooked”). The other reason I’ve created this is because I’ve long wanted a mobile-friendly needs list.

Body

  • Air
  • Food
  • Health
  • Movement
  • Physical Safety
  • Rest/Sleep
  • Shelter
  • Touch
  • Water

Security

  • Consistency
  • Order/Structure
  • Peace (external)
  • Peace of mind
  • Protection/Safety (emotional)
  • Stability
  • Trust

Freedom

  • Autonomy
  • Choice
  • Ease
  • Independence
  • Power in your world
  • Self-responsibility
  • Space
  • Spontaneity

R&R

  • Fun
  • Humor
  • Irreverence
  • Play
  • Rejuvenation
  • Relaxing

Connection

  • Affection
  • Attention
  • Closeness
  • Companionship
  • Gratitude
  • Harmony
  • Intimacy
  • Love
  • Nurturing
  • Sexual Expression
  • Support
  • Tenderness
  • Warmth

Mattering

  • Acceptance
  • Care
  • Consideration
  • Empathy
  • Kindness / metta
  • Mourning
  • Mutual Recognition
  • Respect
  • To be heard, seen
  • To be known, understood
  • To be trusted
  • Understanding others

Community

  • Belonging
  • Communication
  • Cooperation
  • Equality
  • Inclusion
  • Mutuality
  • Participation
  • Partnership
  • Self-expression
  • Sharing

Sense of Self

  • Authenticity
  • Competence
  • Creativity
  • Dignity
  • Growth
  • Healing
  • Honesty
  • Integrity
  • Mastery
  • Mattering to self
  • Self-acceptance
  • Self-care
  • Self-connection
  • Self-knowledge
  • Self-realization
  • Self-respect
  • Self-trust/Confidence
  • Virya (effort, energy)

Understanding

  • Awareness
  • Clarity
  • Discovery
  • Learning
  • Making sense of life
  • Stimulation

Meaning

  • Aliveness
  • Challenge
  • Contribution
  • Creation
  • Effectiveness
  • Exploration
  • Integration
  • Purpose

Mysterium Tremendum

  • Beauty
  • Blame-free
  • Celebration of life
  • Compassion
  • Equanimity
  • Faith
  • Flow
  • Hope
  • Humility
  • Inspiration
  • Joy with others
  • Liberation
  • Nature
  • Non-attachment
  • Presence
  • Simplicity